Showing posts with label Female Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Female Jokes. Show all posts

Coming Home From Work

When a man comes home after a really difficult day at work, nothing brightens his spirits and makes him feel more appreciated than being met at the door by the smiling face of the woman he loves with an ice cold beer in her hand.

Brings tears to your eyes doesn't it!

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AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO



An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the  casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand  dolars on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you  don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new  clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down  and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!'

She hugged each of  the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and  quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were  watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are  drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.  


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Or what?

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what's wrong, and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore.

The wife tells him, "For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take an 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take an 'or what'.

Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take an 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm all tired out, and I don't want it any more."

The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"




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